A Doodly Dilemma

I felt brave (or maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment) and I decided to take the kids out to lunch and a store today. I've done it before and while it's normally exhausting I've survived it. I wasn't so lucky today.

People always seem so excited to potty train their kids and act like it makes life so much easier once they're potty trained. Nope, no no no it's not. With diapers when they go you change the diaper and that's that. With potty training you end up making mad dashes to the bathroom all for what turns out to be a fart.

We went to lunch first. I asked for a high chair for Jillian and then Ben decided he wanted one too. I got them both settled and we ordered drinks. The waitress comes back and sets the little pitcher of creamer for my coffee right in front of Jillian who immediately reaches over and knocks it over. I get that cleaned up and we order our food.

Then Ben loudly announces "Mommy! I have to poop!" So I get him out of the high chair, get Jillian out of hers, grab my purse and off we go.

Here comes the dilemma.......WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH JILLIAN WHILE I BALANCE BEN ON THE POTTY SO HE DOESN'T FALL IN?

Luckily the floor didn't look to dirty and it was the handicap stall so I was able to put her away from the potty. My purse is a messenger style bad so I put it on the floor and opened the flap and sat her on it praying she wouldn't lean down and lick the floor or something.

I balanced Ben on the potty and he farted and said he was done. Seriously Ben? We ran in here for a FART? I got everyone washed up and went back to the table. We start to eat and my food sucks so I send it back. Then Ben announces again that he has to poop.

All that was different this time was that he did pee. Well at least it didn't seem like a wasted trip.

We move on to the store. Five minutes in Ben announces that he pooped in his "unnerwear." I sincerely hoped he was once again mistaken and that he'd just farted again. Once again we race to the bathroom. Only one stall was available and it was tiny. I check Ben and realize that yes indeed he has pooped in his pants. Crap! (literally) Now where was I going to put Jillian.

I ended up strapping her to the baby changer (which was right across from the stall) and kept the stall door open while I stripped Ben's lower half and cleaned him up. By this point Jillian is screaming and I'm ready to join her.

Ben was miserable while we finished shopping and so was Jillian until I gave her my keys to play with. They both fell asleep on the way home. I won't be attempting that again any time soon.

Things That Go Bump, Woof, and Vroom Vroom in the Night

As a child of the 80's I've seen the Chucky movies and maybe that's why it get all freaked out when the kid's toys start playing in the middle of the night.

I'm a total night owl (which I'm sure is obvious since my blogs are always posted late). It's my peace and quiet time when Jeremy and the kids are all sleeping. Some days it's the only quiet time that I get so I cherish it!

During that time I'm usually in the living room using my laptop. I'm relaxed and soaking up the silence. Then it happens....."It's learning time" chimes the Laugh and Learn Puppy or "Vroom Vroom" as a certain toy car revs its engine. Now none of these toys are motion activated. They need to be touched in some way to be activated and yet these freaky toys just randomly turn themselves on and make noise...scaring me in the process. Totally freaks me out.

I must have a dark mind. Why can't I imagine something wonderful like that these toys are waiting for me to go to bed so that they can wake up and play a la Toy Story? Why must I imagine that they do this for some sinister reason.

Maybe I need to sleep more. But if I'm sleeping I can't enjoy the silence. So freaky toys scaring the crap out of me it is!

Why must they scream so loudly?

I love Ben. I really do but some days I feel like he is dangling dangerously from my last nerve! Today was one of those days. He was whiny and having temper tantrums practically from the moment his feet hit the floor this morning. I'm already not a morning person and waking up to whining is not my idea of a good way to start the day.

Some days he can just be outright defiant. He'll do something that he's not supposed to do so I'll tell him not to do it again. He'll look right at me and do it again. There are times when a punishment of some sort works. We put him in time out, send him to his room, take a toy or something away. I've even spanked him and I hate that I've done that. It didn't do any good anyway.

Today was just tantrum after tantrum and the afternoon got even worse. It's hard for me to fit in time to take a shower so I often end up taking one mid afternoon when the kids are napping. It works out great for the most part because then I can shower in peace. Well today the shower woke Ben up for some reason and he refused to go back to sleep. So he had a very short nap which threw him off for the rest of the day. This lead up to the temper tantrum to end all tantrums.

Seriously, I was ready for his head to spin and for green pea soup to spew from his little mouth. Who was this kid and why in the hell was he screaming bloody murder in the middle of my living room. I actually peeked out the windows a few times in fear that neighbors, police, the ambulance, and DYFS were ready to beat down my door in fear that we were harming him. No one was even touching him. This child screamed so loudly that I was afraid he'd really hurt himself.

He eventually calmed down though and there were only a few minor tantrums for the remainder of the day. I ran away to Walmart for a few a bit this evening ALL BY MYSELF! I contemplated living there like Natalie Portman in Where the Heart Is.

These tantrums leave me wondering.....is it possible that 3 year old boys suffer from PMS?

Dare I Say It?

I think Ben is potty trained. I'm almost afraid to type that out for fear that the second I think it and say it he'll regress for one reason or another. He's really been doing great though! He doesn't really have any accidents at home. He had a few last week at nursery school but I think it was because he was nervous about telling them he had to go. Plus their potty is bigger and someone has to hold onto him so his little tushy doesn't go for a swim!

We had our fair share of accidents at home for a few days. I was brave and went right for the big boy undies instead of doing Pull ups (we used those for nap and bedtime). I'm sure my carpet didn't appreciate it. This reminds me....I should write a thank you note to the Spot Shot company because that stuff rocks!

I didn't know what to do when he peed on the carpet. I didn't want to make him feel bad about it but it did start to get annoying. It's not like with a dog and you can just rub their face in it or something. Well I guess I could but that would ruin my chances at winning that "Mom of the Year" title I'm going for! Not to mention that would be a DYFS worthy call! So I cleaned it up and reminded him that "next time you have to pee pee on the potty because Elmo does not like to be peed on."

I'm so excited to be down to one kid in diapers! I hardly have to buy any because I mostly cloth diaper Jillian anyway! Can you say SAVINGS!

I can't believe how much my little guy is growing up though. He is so funny and smart. Even on days when he's dangling from my last nerve he never ceases to make me smile.

I tell him every night when he goes to bed "I love you to the moon and back." Tonight I laid with him to get him to sleep. He rolled over to face me and before I could say a word he put his sweet little hand on my cheek and said "I wuf you to the moon back Mommy" and then he kissed my forehead like I always do to him. Tears. I cried. I couldn't help it. I felt like that scene in The Grinch where his heart grew 2 sizes that day. I really thought mine might just explode right out of my chest.