3 and 30

In 3 days I will be 30 and one week from today Ben will be three. That makes me 10 times his age. Hmm...that's not a fun way to think about it.

I've been kind of in denial that both birthdays are coming. I've been party planning and yet trying to deny that both of us are about to have a birthday. I don't know why it bothers me so much. I know there's nothing really wrong with turning 30 but I'm kind of depressed about it for some reason. I guess it's because I remember being in high school and thinking that 30 seemed so old. It seemed a lifetime away and now it's here. Being 20 doesn't seem like that long ago really. That decade flew by so I'm figuring the next one will too which means *gulp* I'll be 40 (shh don't tell anyone).

Back to my little boy. He's going to be 3. For some reason I'm having a harder time accepting this than when he turned 2. At 2 he still seemed like a baby in many ways. I look back at the pictures from his birthday and his face was so much more baby like than it is now. Three just seems like a kid and not at all a baby anymore.

It's been a great 3 years though. I love that little boy more than I could ever find words to describe. He lights up every day of my life (even when I contemplate trading him for a good candy bar). He's so sweet, funny and smart and his smile and laughter make me so happy.

His last day of school was on Tuesday. Tomorrow is his school picnic and then that's it for the year. I can't believe he's finished a whole school year! Seriously, where is the time going?