Three Years Ago Today

Three years ago today my biggest dream came true. I became a mom. Ben turned 3 (or "ree" as he'll tell you) today. As of 6:58 a.m I have a 3 year old!

I really have no idea where 3 years have went but it has been a wonderful time. I've watched him grow from a tiny baby into the rambunctious happy little boy he is today. When he was a baby he loved to lay cradled in my arms. There were times I'd hold him for hours that way and he'd sleep there contently. On Monday night he woke up with a high fever and he was shivering really hard. I cradled him in my arms just like I did when he was a baby. Only now I could only cradle from his head to his hip which left these long legs dangling down. It was nice to hold him like that again. As much as I love watching him grow and learn I do miss snuggling him in my arms for hours just breathing in his baby scent.

For a couple of years we weren't even sure we were going to be able to have kids and to be honest that was a pretty dark time in my life. I had always wanted to be a mother and the thought that that might not happen wasn't easy to live with. However, we were very happy to learn that we were expecting and it's been pretty much all happy days since then. He pulled me out of that dark time and for that I feel grateful to him.

I'm sitting here crying as I type this because really there are no adequate words to say what I want to say tonight. I love that little boy more than words could ever say. Our own birthdays are special to us (I just celebrated my own a few days ago) but I never realized that they are special to our moms as well until I had children of my own. Every year when we celebrate Ben's birthday I also celebrate the day that I became his mother. That is definitely worth celebrating.

It's been a great 3 year and I'm looking forward to many more years of watching my little guy learn and grow! Happy Birthday Benjamin Nicolas!