A Mommy Divided

Ben got sick at the end of last week. He had been perfectly fine but then I guess the germs must have smelled the holiday weekend and beautiful weather coming and decided it would be the perfect time to infect my sweet little boy. It started with a slight cough and a fever and then BAM pneumonia. How it happened I still don't know. His fever shot up high enough to worry me and the Doctor. We ended up taking him to the ER Friday night and they decided to admit him because he needed some oxygen. It was late at night and the poor baby was so tired. I felt awful for him. I had to take Jillian with me because Jeremy needed some sleep for work the next day and I had to be with her anyway to feed her. So my wonderful Mom went with us.

When they decided to admit him they said that I could stay with him but the baby couldn't. Well that doesn't really work for me. Jeremy was scared to keep her alone with him at home all night because sometimes he still isn't quite sure what to do with her plus even though she'll take a bottle she sleeps better when she can nurse to sleep. I felt like I wanted to tear myself in half. I didn't want to leave Ben in the hospital without me even though Jeremy would be with him but I didn't want to leave Jillian either. I've never really had to choose between my kids before and it's not a position I ever want to be in again.

So Jeremy stayed with Ben and I took Jillian home when they took Ben to a room around 3 a.m. I slept for a bit and headed back to the hospital first thing in the morning. I walked into the room and my big boy looked so tiny in that bed. He only whined when I walked in. He didn't try to get up or anything. He was so pitiful. I handed off the baby and went to lay with him for a while. He snuggled up and went to sleep.

We later found out that they would have let me and the baby stay but the ER people forgot to tell us. I was so mad! They let us all stay Saturday night probably because there weren't many patients and Sunday was Easter. The Easter Bunny had to visit at the hospital so it wasn't a whole lot of fun and certainly not what I had planned for Jillian's first Easter but at least we were all together.

Ben is home now and doing a bit better. He wears out easily but played outside for a little while today. I knew it would wear him out but the fresh air is good for him. Now Jillian seems to be sick and Jeremy is sick and has a fever. Both kids must have been having tummy trouble today because they filled diaper after diaper. In Jillian's case she also covered the couch. That was a fun start to the day. Being a mom is wonderful but it sure can be gross sometimes.

I've said this to other people before and I stand by my statement....I think Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs should have to be a mom to little kids for a day. It's the dirtiest job ever! Boogers, pee, poop, slobber, vomit, and other unknown substances. Fun times man fun times.