A Doodly Dilemma

I felt brave (or maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment) and I decided to take the kids out to lunch and a store today. I've done it before and while it's normally exhausting I've survived it. I wasn't so lucky today.

People always seem so excited to potty train their kids and act like it makes life so much easier once they're potty trained. Nope, no no no it's not. With diapers when they go you change the diaper and that's that. With potty training you end up making mad dashes to the bathroom all for what turns out to be a fart.

We went to lunch first. I asked for a high chair for Jillian and then Ben decided he wanted one too. I got them both settled and we ordered drinks. The waitress comes back and sets the little pitcher of creamer for my coffee right in front of Jillian who immediately reaches over and knocks it over. I get that cleaned up and we order our food.

Then Ben loudly announces "Mommy! I have to poop!" So I get him out of the high chair, get Jillian out of hers, grab my purse and off we go.

Here comes the dilemma.......WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH JILLIAN WHILE I BALANCE BEN ON THE POTTY SO HE DOESN'T FALL IN?

Luckily the floor didn't look to dirty and it was the handicap stall so I was able to put her away from the potty. My purse is a messenger style bad so I put it on the floor and opened the flap and sat her on it praying she wouldn't lean down and lick the floor or something.

I balanced Ben on the potty and he farted and said he was done. Seriously Ben? We ran in here for a FART? I got everyone washed up and went back to the table. We start to eat and my food sucks so I send it back. Then Ben announces again that he has to poop.

All that was different this time was that he did pee. Well at least it didn't seem like a wasted trip.

We move on to the store. Five minutes in Ben announces that he pooped in his "unnerwear." I sincerely hoped he was once again mistaken and that he'd just farted again. Once again we race to the bathroom. Only one stall was available and it was tiny. I check Ben and realize that yes indeed he has pooped in his pants. Crap! (literally) Now where was I going to put Jillian.

I ended up strapping her to the baby changer (which was right across from the stall) and kept the stall door open while I stripped Ben's lower half and cleaned him up. By this point Jillian is screaming and I'm ready to join her.

Ben was miserable while we finished shopping and so was Jillian until I gave her my keys to play with. They both fell asleep on the way home. I won't be attempting that again any time soon.